Tonight I am melancholic.
What does it take to survive the Rat Race?
I had the concept of service, but I realised that service which is not valued is not really service at all. Or even if it is valued but not appreciated. I am teaching my people to watch their back and for them to help watch mine (ie the internal organization) more than to service the client. Watch their back and also those they work with. What have I become?
I fully believe hard work does not cut it anymore. And yet, I cannot detach myself from the need to service, push harder, yearning to achieve the impossible because of...? What have I become?
I look around me, my gen x friends, and I see everyone is working so hard, so this is the new norm. I sleep only 6 out of 7 days nowadays due to travelling once every week on a night flight. Whilst catching up on sleep the other day, I wondered which person wants to achieve the kind of balance I have at my level - I should be sipping coffee and wine instead of losing sleep!!!
It was never my doubt on my own personal intellect, my enjoyment of the work I do and how it helps our clients, or how my esteemed organization is able to bring the best out of us all and deliver the type of high performance service. The problem I have struggled with in my entire working life and more so in the past few years is that this is not yet the best I can be. The best I can be to myself, the people I work for, the clients I service, the family I have. Still not the best.
There's always one person who will eventually break you. That person I've just found out is really my own self. Everyone else, every other action is reflected in me but I am still not at peace with my ownself.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
The 3 Seconds Rule
Have you heard of this 3 seconds test? I am not sure where I read this from - but if I'm not mistaken this is based on the book "Mind Gym" on relationships. The authors spoke of the 3 seconds rule for relationships - and I guess it applies to nearly everything.
Have you ever seen someone familiar or not have enough guts or feel shy to chat up someone whom you thought could be interesting or you are bored in the line and you are observing some people or children and wanted to say a friendly hi?
Well, I will advocate to the 3 seconds rule in the following instances - its quite practical - give the thought 3 seconds and just go do it, whatever the gut feels right at that moment. Don't think too long about it. A lot of times our "shyness" or mind barriers kick in after 3 seconds. Here's where I thought it worked for me or could work for me :
3 Seconds Rule to Sending a SMS
- This has got to be my most successful attempt to beat the fear of communicating. I applied the 3 seconds rule over the last few weeks to a couple of items. From my time spent in the philippines I've generally become a more keen texter - here was where I felt, if you have thoughts, just text, and since texting was already not a responsive type of communication, what harm could there be?
- I texted one of my staff who wanted to quit to ask her to chat - I've never been much of a chatter for people, but recently I've been a lot more approachable. It tired me to speak to people who wanted to leave in distress but I knew I needed to at least try. Why delay - I could easily talk or meet up with them - 3 seconds told me there was no harm of talking to them to convince them to stay. At worse, I would've another good ex-colleague friend and given them the "release" they would need before they leave.
- I texted someone I hardly know to meet up. What harm is there? I was bored and needed some new friends, it took me 3 seconds to say, what the heck, this is better than not even trying. Who cares about first moves what ever... does it help me get anything in return? 3 seconds, do it, send. What does it matter if it was a yes or no?
3 Seconds Rule to Smiling
- It is funny how one has to think for 3 seconds to smile. Well this is not as it is - I've been out of town for so many rounds that sometimes just culturally adapting has proven to be a bit tiring - so I've learnt the new Philippines communication tool. Good intents are usually expressed just by smiling. Why make the doorman, the taxi driver, the client, your colleague whoever stressed - we all have our demands but what harm is there to smile?
- Take the 3 seconds rule to smiling and one becomes more comfortable to smile and after a while it becomes 1 second and eventually, it becomes part of your internal composure. I found that smiling made my entire thinking mind more positive and less tension is created, even in a tough environment. Well if there is no one to smile at, smile internally!
3 Seconds Rule to Sending a Email
- This can sometimes work and sometimes not. I usually advocate people to think about the email they want to send, especially in distress or emotional state. But I've found the 3 seconds rule applies well to times when you want to respond or feel there is not enough info, hesitate, or try to over analyse non critical notes - this is when the 3 second rule works - send that email and respond! You do not need 200% information. Well, this applies only to those who are like me, getting 50-100 emails a day, and sometimes people wait for me, but I always want to do a full job even responding to a mail. To be treaded with care on this one....
3 Seconds Rule to Action
- Get to action on that thing you have been procrastinating on? Just think about it for 3 seconds and action it - your gut feel is the right decision. And taking action is always better than not taking any action!
PS - 3 Seconds Rule to Procrastination - The bad part of the story is that it takes 3 seconds to procrastinate as well.... oh well, you can't win them all!
Have you ever seen someone familiar or not have enough guts or feel shy to chat up someone whom you thought could be interesting or you are bored in the line and you are observing some people or children and wanted to say a friendly hi?
Well, I will advocate to the 3 seconds rule in the following instances - its quite practical - give the thought 3 seconds and just go do it, whatever the gut feels right at that moment. Don't think too long about it. A lot of times our "shyness" or mind barriers kick in after 3 seconds. Here's where I thought it worked for me or could work for me :
3 Seconds Rule to Sending a SMS
- This has got to be my most successful attempt to beat the fear of communicating. I applied the 3 seconds rule over the last few weeks to a couple of items. From my time spent in the philippines I've generally become a more keen texter - here was where I felt, if you have thoughts, just text, and since texting was already not a responsive type of communication, what harm could there be?
- I texted one of my staff who wanted to quit to ask her to chat - I've never been much of a chatter for people, but recently I've been a lot more approachable. It tired me to speak to people who wanted to leave in distress but I knew I needed to at least try. Why delay - I could easily talk or meet up with them - 3 seconds told me there was no harm of talking to them to convince them to stay. At worse, I would've another good ex-colleague friend and given them the "release" they would need before they leave.
- I texted someone I hardly know to meet up. What harm is there? I was bored and needed some new friends, it took me 3 seconds to say, what the heck, this is better than not even trying. Who cares about first moves what ever... does it help me get anything in return? 3 seconds, do it, send. What does it matter if it was a yes or no?
3 Seconds Rule to Smiling
- It is funny how one has to think for 3 seconds to smile. Well this is not as it is - I've been out of town for so many rounds that sometimes just culturally adapting has proven to be a bit tiring - so I've learnt the new Philippines communication tool. Good intents are usually expressed just by smiling. Why make the doorman, the taxi driver, the client, your colleague whoever stressed - we all have our demands but what harm is there to smile?
- Take the 3 seconds rule to smiling and one becomes more comfortable to smile and after a while it becomes 1 second and eventually, it becomes part of your internal composure. I found that smiling made my entire thinking mind more positive and less tension is created, even in a tough environment. Well if there is no one to smile at, smile internally!
3 Seconds Rule to Sending a Email
- This can sometimes work and sometimes not. I usually advocate people to think about the email they want to send, especially in distress or emotional state. But I've found the 3 seconds rule applies well to times when you want to respond or feel there is not enough info, hesitate, or try to over analyse non critical notes - this is when the 3 second rule works - send that email and respond! You do not need 200% information. Well, this applies only to those who are like me, getting 50-100 emails a day, and sometimes people wait for me, but I always want to do a full job even responding to a mail. To be treaded with care on this one....
3 Seconds Rule to Action
- Get to action on that thing you have been procrastinating on? Just think about it for 3 seconds and action it - your gut feel is the right decision. And taking action is always better than not taking any action!
PS - 3 Seconds Rule to Procrastination - The bad part of the story is that it takes 3 seconds to procrastinate as well.... oh well, you can't win them all!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Stop, Pause, Rewind, Forward...
I have not blogged for a long long time. I can somehow understand how writers suffer writer's block. I on the other hand am just burnt out at work. I read this book, it said, when you make it a habit, it becomes a habit. So, here goes, welcome back to the blogging world, and please bear with me, I need to warm up.
Strange photo to post, you may think? Well, I just bought a new camera lens yesterday, and as usual, I like to point and shoot just about anything.
They said the sign of a clean table is a sign of a sick mind. Mine just has permanent clutter. This part of my table which I deemed publishable is indeed been there for a long while, but peering at the picture quality led me to think about how it so aptly describes me.
"Not a Mess but Unorganized Clutter"
Who would claim their desk resembles a mess and hence similarly their lives? Look at the photo and you would see a vision of a 0.001% view of the person I am - language - chinese, culture - philippines, how to simplify your life (!!!), thomas friedman, accenture golf tournament pewter card stand, ipod in an airport clear liquid bag (!!! not used?!), random pieces of small petty cash from last trip, some hydration gel I bought at SCSM last year, old mouse, headphones, border card, even mars and venus book... (!!!).
Go figure... an organized clutter, not a mess... don't you think?
"Read Me"
I like to read as much as I enjoy books which are short, sweet and my biggest secret is that I never finish reading the books I buy anyway! Who could do so when we now have so little time? But yet, I love book shops and hanging around book shops never bore me, it relaxes me tremendously.
"Needs Time Out"
This is indeed my main problem and the main reason why I have not blogged for a while. Just as much as my desk has been the same view for the last 6 months, some of the books there in the picture probably has been there for the last 6 years and maybe more. The picture is just as much as my state of writing and expression - bland, slightly disorganized - I have thoughts nowadays which I cannot hold for more than 5 minutes, and sometimes I have thoughts which I am trying to block my concious mind from thinking so that I can avoid problems or things to do at work.
I am at a burnt out stage - not miserable but just monumentally tired and out of juice.
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