The night eludes me..

Once again, the night eludes me.. the Putrajaya Night Marathon 6 Feb 2009.. this race was indeed one of my worst race in my marathon history.

Lots of people attempt marathons when they are adequately prepared and trained for it, and is willing to move onto the next stage. I attempt marathons because sometimes I just wished to challenge myself. Running can get pretty boring when you have no definitive milestones - yes, I do wish to better my time for 10km and 21km, but sometimes that additional planning and trying to achieve that plan a couple of months ahead can sometimes be a great test of determination and faith in the sport.

I knew I could not make a good time, and also doubted if I could make it about 10km + into the race.  I felt sluggish, blame it on my poor psycho, the rest for two weeks when I found my right knee creaking and clicking when straightening - and a stoppage of "training" regime - all this put all my efforts since October to waste.

The most difficult part of the race was actually the humidity and the rolling hills. The humidity caused me to become very sluggish and heavy, I actually sweated so much in just the first 10km that the loss of fluid made me a bit dizzy and really fatigued.. despite gulping down lots of 100plus and water (thank god the organizers did a great job here!). The rolling hills physchologically killed me as well as physically - the stretch on the lebuhraya timur was never ending and it was never ending when I drove it during the day to check the course and on foot in the dark with streetlights as companions.. it was a long way home..

The most revealing part of this race was actually how mind over matter rules in races, besides the ample preparation. Not only did I need to have the ample preparation, my mind this round was dubious on my own performance, and even at the "pen" I saw only people who were going to be ahead. Every official I passed after the turnoff of 21km and 42km runners I wanted to ask if I was the last. Every refreshment station I felt urged to not only drink but also look for the famous "transport" bus.. this mentality I could not finish a race with. So when I finished, honestly I had a bit more left in the tank as physically I was fatigued, but mentally and legs wise, I could do a whole hour better I do believe.

The most thankful part of the race was that I was not injured further, in fact, I forgot my injured knee and gave it a go at times. It was also a great thing that the organizers did a great job to leave behind the water folks and the marshalls even for the last few. This has never happened before in history of malaysian races. One has to be careful about Malaysian races - the lack of participants especially in Marathon categories inevitably means you have to learn about how to be last or last few, and in this case, place faith in the organizers for supporting the last few.

The most enjoyable part of the race was indeed the fact that I finished a marathon, personal worst or not. I finished it, in the deserted midnite when only a few souls were around, I jogged past the finishing line, and I had a few foreigners clap for me, and Boon, Peter, Brion around waiting. Thanks guys - I had been rehearsing in my last 1km what kind of apology I could tell you guys for waiting so long for me, but I forgot those words when I saw the finishing line.

I could blame no one but myself for the disappointing time. Maybe in a couple of weeks time I could tell myself, at least I finished the race - and the amazing thing is that within a day I convinced myself I will run another marathon this year, possibly the one I have signed up for already.

Perhaps this year should be a year to enjoy and to push for consistency and also stamina. What I need is willpower, time, and good health, which thankfully all three despite the poor timing on yesterday's race, I still have some left.

The next race is a vengence on the night.. it will be me against the energizer bunny with 21km and a time factor in between.  If I can crack this in a personal best, this will restore my faith in night races...

Footnote : I am so glad I was not last. After I finished, took my medal, banter with the gang, took some photos and finally hobbled to my car, changed shoes and drove off - and I ended up in the same last 1km stretch -there were still people walking the last 1km - amazing, tabik guys, and thanks for making my day that I knew I was not last.